I’ve had a lot of ‘Hmm...’ moments recently. I would like to say they were ‘Aha!’ moments of brilliant realizations but instead these are more like those in which you realize you did something silly or just blanked on common sense all together. I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Note to self:
If you leave a leaky cooler in your trunk, the entire thing will get wet, and if you live in Texas it will grow mold overnight and subsequently stink up your entire car, really bad.
If you decide to go tubing on a river in Texas during a drought, plan on carrying your tube instead of floating on it.
If you stop eating sugar for an entire month you will have nightmares about cookies.
Your eyelids are skin and as such can also get sunburned.
If your window blinds are slats up instead of down, a sheer curtain alone will not block the wide open view of your room from the swimmers in the pool below.
The paste on envelopes still does not taste good.
If you fall asleep under a tree, no doubt a punk squirrel will drop an acorn on your head.
Texans do not know how to merge, protect yourself by incorporating the constant honk and swerve technique.
If you call in sick but then show up sunburned the next day people might be slightly suspicious.
If the gas light comes on in your car, it is not a test, you are about to be out of gas.
Although some fine cheeses are moldy, hand grown refrigerator mold is not the same.
If you try to read a book while walking down stairs there is a high probability you will end up on your tookus.
Lastly, boys and girls never have and never will speak the same language.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Raccoon?!
This morning as I entered my office I was greeted by a hallway full of my coworkers. They were all starring at me. One of them finally said:
“You can’t go back there.”
Ok.
“There is a raccoon on the loose back there!!”
What?
“Yeah, a raccoon fell through the ceiling and is now running up and down the halls!”
Seriously? That is awesome.
The office was to be evacuated immediately. We must maintain a safe distance while we wait for the superb UT animal control force to hunt down the raccoon on the run. I was a lucky one, freed from both the confines of desk work and a terrifying hostage situation. The entire back half of my office mates were not as lucky. They found themselves trapped by the menacing mammal scurrying along the cubical walls and were directed to barricade themselves in the back room with cabinets and boxes...hm.
So, I took this short raccoon enforced break to catch up on some light reading: Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban – I know, people say I’m a little behind. Approximately 25 min later, a young lad – no more than 16 – comes strutting down the hallway, free of eye contact, with a large animal carrier, gloves and two large nets in hand. He was here to save us all and he means business. I was informed later that he is one of only three people on campus certified for this type of rescue mission – outstanding. Six minutes and 58 seconds later, out came our hero accompanied by a uniformed officer holding the now occupied metal carrier. Their chests stood proud as they walked down the hall of honor and grand applause. The raccoon has been captured. Well done, men.
So there it is, just another day at the office here at UT. And if you think this is entertaining, get ready, because bat season is just around the corner...
“You can’t go back there.”
Ok.
“There is a raccoon on the loose back there!!”
“Yeah, a raccoon fell through the ceiling and is now running up and down the halls!”
Seriously? That is awesome.
The office was to be evacuated immediately. We must maintain a safe distance while we wait for the superb UT animal control force to hunt down the raccoon on the run. I was a lucky one, freed from both the confines of desk work and a terrifying hostage situation. The entire back half of my office mates were not as lucky. They found themselves trapped by the menacing mammal scurrying along the cubical walls and were directed to barricade themselves in the back room with cabinets and boxes...hm.
So, I took this short raccoon enforced break to catch up on some light reading: Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban – I know, people say I’m a little behind. Approximately 25 min later, a young lad – no more than 16 – comes strutting down the hallway, free of eye contact, with a large animal carrier, gloves and two large nets in hand. He was here to save us all and he means business. I was informed later that he is one of only three people on campus certified for this type of rescue mission – outstanding. Six minutes and 58 seconds later, out came our hero accompanied by a uniformed officer holding the now occupied metal carrier. Their chests stood proud as they walked down the hall of honor and grand applause. The raccoon has been captured. Well done, men.
So there it is, just another day at the office here at UT. And if you think this is entertaining, get ready, because bat season is just around the corner...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sugar Free June
That’s right, for 30 days I will be sugar free with the added bonus of removing carbonated beverages...more specifically, caffeine, from my diet. Before everyone goes crazy, rushing to remind me that it is impossible to be entirely sugar free let me clarify: I have removed "junk" sugars from my diet but maintaining natural sugars like fruit as well those incidental sugars in bread, etc.
Why on earth am I doing this? Well, good question. I figured since the 5k is over (which I totally ran in 42 min) I needed another goal which would increase my overall health and happiness...and give me more bragging rights. I’m looking to purge the system, shock the body into a more efficient processing machine and stimulate more weight loss.
Even with all these excellent reasons, what it really all comes down to is that 2009 is a year of conquering for me. I conquered Ireland, a 5k, some heavy reading and now it is time to tackle sugar and caffeine. Once I finally decided on them, my first few goals ended up being fairly reasonable to accomplish and sustained a high yield of gratification making them extra rewarding. I’m hoping June will continue on this path of amazinginess.
Today is sugar free day 4 and it is has not been easy. There have been incidents of severe headaches, a bit of drool, a tear or two and some mild hallucinations. It’s true, I knew it was going to be rough when I mistook a piece of orange paper for a Reese’s cup and wanted to devour it. No fear, I did not. Instead, I have replaced my normal sugar/caffeine intake with an excessive amount of peanuts. July food ban: peanuts.
Anyway...it is a pretty awesome feeling being able to knock out even a few things in life you either want to get rid of, overcome, or finally accomplish. The initial decision and accompanying challenge is extremely empowering, invigorating, inspiring and yet it can still be slightly scary. Change is good but change is change so expect some growing pains such as ridiculously sore calf muscles or caffeine withdrawal headaches and become BFF with Ibuprofen. But in the end, running through that finish line, it is totally worth it.
I’m not sure what will be next on the list after teaching sugar a lesson but one thing is for sure, nothing will stop me from making 2009 a year for the history books. Hey December, watch out – I’m already punching June in the face!
Why on earth am I doing this? Well, good question. I figured since the 5k is over (which I totally ran in 42 min) I needed another goal which would increase my overall health and happiness...and give me more bragging rights. I’m looking to purge the system, shock the body into a more efficient processing machine and stimulate more weight loss.
Even with all these excellent reasons, what it really all comes down to is that 2009 is a year of conquering for me. I conquered Ireland, a 5k, some heavy reading and now it is time to tackle sugar and caffeine. Once I finally decided on them, my first few goals ended up being fairly reasonable to accomplish and sustained a high yield of gratification making them extra rewarding. I’m hoping June will continue on this path of amazinginess.
Today is sugar free day 4 and it is has not been easy. There have been incidents of severe headaches, a bit of drool, a tear or two and some mild hallucinations. It’s true, I knew it was going to be rough when I mistook a piece of orange paper for a Reese’s cup and wanted to devour it. No fear, I did not. Instead, I have replaced my normal sugar/caffeine intake with an excessive amount of peanuts. July food ban: peanuts.
Anyway...it is a pretty awesome feeling being able to knock out even a few things in life you either want to get rid of, overcome, or finally accomplish. The initial decision and accompanying challenge is extremely empowering, invigorating, inspiring and yet it can still be slightly scary. Change is good but change is change so expect some growing pains such as ridiculously sore calf muscles or caffeine withdrawal headaches and become BFF with Ibuprofen. But in the end, running through that finish line, it is totally worth it.
I’m not sure what will be next on the list after teaching sugar a lesson but one thing is for sure, nothing will stop me from making 2009 a year for the history books. Hey December, watch out – I’m already punching June in the face!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
