Affirming the Earth

I work at a very large public university and every day I’m attacked by at least a dozen supposedly well intentioned students with ridiculous fliers and donation requests. On my way back from lunch today I heard the following simple seductions from a few of these human sidewalk barricades representing some obscure organization called "Greenpeace":

“I can tell there is a tree hugger underneath that fancy polo!”
“Hey, you look like someone in the mood to stop global warming!”

Surprisingly, these clever lines did not seem to work. I chuckled to myself, avoided any eye contact whatsoever and picked up my pace so I wouldn’t be forced to, yet again; tell them, “No, I would not like to save the world today.”

Truth is, I do want to save the world from utter destruction but I find it slightly irritating to be bombarded on my way to serve the man with these in-your-face guilt-tripping solicitations. Aside from pushing them down on the pavement there is little I can do to make them go away – something about free speech in a public place. Anyway, I really don’t like the feeling of wanting to avoid someone and for a second I actually feel bad saying NO but then I remember they just want the money I’m trying to earn to buy shoes and I don’t feel bad anymore. And also, I really don’t think my money is going to make the earth better anyway. Money just can not fix all the world's problems - everyone knows that.

Personally, when my 'problems' overwhelm me and I’m feeling a bit sad, worn down or simply ‘abused’, I perk right up when I receive compliments or accolades from my friends. I figure if this works for me it probably would work for the earth too. So, my simple suggestion for saving the world - while not annoying people as they walk to work - is to help the world feel better about herself. A happy earth is a healthy, self-confident earth.

I shall begin now, in a delicate yet forceful tone: “Earth, you are beautiful. You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. We really need you.”

I think that will do the trick. A bit of affirmation goes a long way. Sometimes a little encouragement is all you need to keep moving with a smile. So, I’m gonna do my part to heal the earth and then next time those green shirt wearing hippies ask me to help them save the world I’ll just say, “No thanks, I already did that today but maybe you should too.”

I think tomorrow I will come up with a sweet earth cheer.

Yeah, you go earth!

Occam's Razor

: a scientific and philosophic rule that entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily which is interpreted as requiring that the simplest of competing theories be preferred to the more complex or that explanations of unknown phenomena be sought first in terms of known quantities.

I’m baffled, but somehow I’ve found myself surrounded by a group of friends who utilize Occam’s Razor daily and are experts at it. They quickly identify the simplest answer (which typically also includes the least amount of work) and push full steam ahead. There is no grey, only black and white. Everything is either a 1 or a 0...speaking in their own language. Despite my continual protests that no, there are some things that do actually require some thought and work, they manage to do just fine with minimal supervision – often to my amazement. For the most part their calm and simple perspective on life and its happenings works out just fine and they are in general, pretty darn satisfied.

In a recent conversation with a good friend who thinks only in terms of money, he said he couldn’t understand why people would buy more problems. I agree, why would I do that – it just doesn’t make sense. But still, l find that I often face an irresistible desire to make absolutely everything far more complex than it ever need be. In essence I willingly pay for more than is necessary on a regular basis. I find this rather ironic considering my rather obsessive tendencies to clip coupons, shop only the clearance racks and pick fights with the cashier who won’t adjust the price of a mis-marked item.

I’m not really sure what motives this overspending and although it strikes me as somewhat irrational, I am somehow convinced things just can’t possibly be interesting or accurate if they are too simple. It could be a ‘woman thing’ or perhaps even a redhead thing but there I am wasting precious time reading between the lines or making up my own lines entirely. (You know that annoying person in the theater who talks back to the screen with their own ‘additions’ to the plot line, yeah that’s me. Sorry.)

Some people might call my spending habits exercising imagination or exploring creative thought processes but most of the time I think it really ends up being just a big headache machine...that I rent. I don’t like headaches and I certainly don’t want to pay for them so I figure I should be more like my simple minded friends (hm that didn’t come out right) and just refuse to buy more complications.

All things being equal, the simplest solution is the best solution...and hopefully the cheapest. Simple = Best. What a simply amazing concept. I will take one Occam’s Razor please…oh look it’s on sale!

Proof It

My sophomore year of college was an interesting one. It was a pivotal point in my life…unfortunately I happen to be really bad at pivoting. Anyway, I spent my first year and half of college preparing to enter the 5 year masters accounting program and then it hit me. There was no way I wanted to be an accountant, not a chance. I was just as surprised as anyone considering the fact that A) well, I mean, I was pretty good at it B) my mom and the majority of my extended family are CPA's and C) it was a guaranteed money job. But I could not deny the feeling, accounting was not for me. After I pulled the emergency brake on that train, my second semester was spent exploring a variety of other subject matter in hopes of finding anything else to grab my attention. Looking back I’m not sure why I picked these but nevertheless I enrolled in the physics of sound, computer science and history of math course.

I did horrible in all three. But by far the most shocking was the math course. Although I was a Calculus TA at the time and certainly capable of talking and doing math, I apparently missed the part in the syllabus where I had to actually turn in my work, oops. Anyway, aside from just not following directions, I learned a great deal from the course. Initially, I wasn't sure what to expect, History of Math, I thought to myself: I'm good at math, I like history, this will be an easy course and I will walk out of here with some sweet Fine Arts credits (yeah I'm still not sure how that works). Turns out, it was way more intense than it sounds.

The course was conducted by a brilliant visiting professor from India. His English was horrible. Luckily, Indians (well and everyone else really) like redheads so I got a lot of ‘specialized’ attention…for you know…translations and such. The very first day of class he says, “Who can tell me what pi is?” Almost instantaneously, a pompous little nerd in the front row shot up his hand and spouts off 3.14…..blah blah blah followed by a brief explanation of what it's used for. Oh great, I think to myself, not only am I not going to understand the professor but I've got “Mr. I know all things math” ready to save us all from our silent ignorance. But Prof India goes on, “Can anyone tell me where pi came from?” Front row Frank tries but is quickly shot down. That is not what he meant and for the rest of the class he proceeds to show us an elaborate proof - how exactly pi came to be. I am not positive, but I'm fairly certain my mouth stayed gaped and my eyes blink free through the entire process. After all, I knew what pi was and I knew how to use it but it never occurred to me that while I was using pi to solve other problems it too had such a journey of its' own. The rest of the course continued in this fashion...we proved theory after theory, yes even the quadratic formula. I learned more about math than I ever thought possible. Ever. It was truly amazing, but without question, it is way harder to prove a math theory than to simply use it.

Now, in my old age I have found in other aspects of my life I often know about the pi and sometimes even how to use it. I typically know what the general concept is, an overview or at least a basic understanding of what mystical equations I must utilize to get to that final answer. The tricky part is actually coming around to it, proving what pi is actually made up of. And also, as I have learned over the years, this ends up being the most important part. The answer is not going to change – it is how I get there that matters, how I proof myself. So, despite no longer having an Indian to guide my way, I shall proof forward and yes, oh yes, I will solve pi.

P.S. if you ever want to know the proof to the slope of a line, just ask me…about 7 years ago.