White Pages, RIP

On the radio this morning, I heard a brief story about the death of the printed White Pages. My heart sank a bit. It’s true I don’t use them any more...at all...ever. It’s true the last time I really looked at one was to watch my brother rip it in half. And it’s true I get a little annoyed when that book is left at my doorstep because now I have to get rid of it. Nevertheless, I have so many fond memories of the White Pages and it stings just a little to see it go.

I remember giggling with my girlfriends as we used our white pal to prank call boys in 5th grade. I remember having to flip pages to look up a friends’ phone number and then calling three wrong numbers first. I remember counting how many people had my same exact name. I remember hearing people telling other people to look them up, they are in the ‘book’. I remember having to tell people that we were not listed because my dad was convinced it was a socialists' agenda. As the Internet started taking over our lives, the printed White Pages became less and less used...for their primary purpose. They were outdated and rather tedious. But still, their departure marks an end of times, at least in my life. (I’m convinced half of my Ward would not even know what the White Pages were.)

Recently, I saw the new Facebook movie. It was really enjoyable, but I can not tell you how dated I felt during and after. I don’t think I realized how ‘old’ I was until I realized I was well out of college before the phenomena that now defines social interaction was even thought up. Not to mention how strange it is to watch a dramatized history of something that is still basically in it’s infancy. I still remember Atari, pagers, corded phones, clunky Nokias, creepy chat rooms, Lycos, VHS and of course, the birth of Napster. Now half of that is extinct.

I’m very aware that I still rank a member of the young generation, but I’m starting to feel the steady stream of new things aging me, fast. Now is the generation where the phrase “that is so last season” applies to more than clothes. My computer is out of date. My iPhone is out of date. My web browser is out of date. The email I just sent is out of date. I do not think it is even possible to keep up at this point. And yet, it’s so exciting! The awesome gadgets on Star Trek are getting eerily close and the pure ease of communication and accessibility is absolutely astonishing.

There are, of course, an equal share of yucky bits that accompany these rapid evolutions we must stay wary of, but it is so glorious to watch people think bigger, work harder, communicate faster, and generally be more ambitious. It is a 'get moving' or 'get left' world. It’s harsh and it’s empowering.

And on that note, I formally say goodbye to printed telephonic information. We forgot about you years ago anyway. Peace. Here is to the future of more cool things!

Oh and I’m still hoping for a Replicator...