I’ve had a lot of ‘Hmm...’ moments recently. I would like to say they were ‘Aha!’ moments of brilliant realizations but instead these are more like those in which you realize you did something silly or just blanked on common sense all together. I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Note to self:
If you leave a leaky cooler in your trunk, the entire thing will get wet, and if you live in Texas it will grow mold overnight and subsequently stink up your entire car, really bad.
If you decide to go tubing on a river in Texas during a drought, plan on carrying your tube instead of floating on it.
If you stop eating sugar for an entire month you will have nightmares about cookies.
Your eyelids are skin and as such can also get sunburned.
If your window blinds are slats up instead of down, a sheer curtain alone will not block the wide open view of your room from the swimmers in the pool below.
The paste on envelopes still does not taste good.
If you fall asleep under a tree, no doubt a punk squirrel will drop an acorn on your head.
Texans do not know how to merge, protect yourself by incorporating the constant honk and swerve technique.
If you call in sick but then show up sunburned the next day people might be slightly suspicious.
If the gas light comes on in your car, it is not a test, you are about to be out of gas.
Although some fine cheeses are moldy, hand grown refrigerator mold is not the same.
If you try to read a book while walking down stairs there is a high probability you will end up on your tookus.
Lastly, boys and girls never have and never will speak the same language.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Raccoon?!
This morning as I entered my office I was greeted by a hallway full of my coworkers. They were all starring at me. One of them finally said:
“You can’t go back there.”
Ok.
“There is a raccoon on the loose back there!!”
What?
“Yeah, a raccoon fell through the ceiling and is now running up and down the halls!”
Seriously? That is awesome.
The office was to be evacuated immediately. We must maintain a safe distance while we wait for the superb UT animal control force to hunt down the raccoon on the run. I was a lucky one, freed from both the confines of desk work and a terrifying hostage situation. The entire back half of my office mates were not as lucky. They found themselves trapped by the menacing mammal scurrying along the cubical walls and were directed to barricade themselves in the back room with cabinets and boxes...hm.
So, I took this short raccoon enforced break to catch up on some light reading: Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban – I know, people say I’m a little behind. Approximately 25 min later, a young lad – no more than 16 – comes strutting down the hallway, free of eye contact, with a large animal carrier, gloves and two large nets in hand. He was here to save us all and he means business. I was informed later that he is one of only three people on campus certified for this type of rescue mission – outstanding. Six minutes and 58 seconds later, out came our hero accompanied by a uniformed officer holding the now occupied metal carrier. Their chests stood proud as they walked down the hall of honor and grand applause. The raccoon has been captured. Well done, men.
So there it is, just another day at the office here at UT. And if you think this is entertaining, get ready, because bat season is just around the corner...
“You can’t go back there.”
Ok.
“There is a raccoon on the loose back there!!”
“Yeah, a raccoon fell through the ceiling and is now running up and down the halls!”
Seriously? That is awesome.
The office was to be evacuated immediately. We must maintain a safe distance while we wait for the superb UT animal control force to hunt down the raccoon on the run. I was a lucky one, freed from both the confines of desk work and a terrifying hostage situation. The entire back half of my office mates were not as lucky. They found themselves trapped by the menacing mammal scurrying along the cubical walls and were directed to barricade themselves in the back room with cabinets and boxes...hm.
So, I took this short raccoon enforced break to catch up on some light reading: Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban – I know, people say I’m a little behind. Approximately 25 min later, a young lad – no more than 16 – comes strutting down the hallway, free of eye contact, with a large animal carrier, gloves and two large nets in hand. He was here to save us all and he means business. I was informed later that he is one of only three people on campus certified for this type of rescue mission – outstanding. Six minutes and 58 seconds later, out came our hero accompanied by a uniformed officer holding the now occupied metal carrier. Their chests stood proud as they walked down the hall of honor and grand applause. The raccoon has been captured. Well done, men.
So there it is, just another day at the office here at UT. And if you think this is entertaining, get ready, because bat season is just around the corner...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sugar Free June
That’s right, for 30 days I will be sugar free with the added bonus of removing carbonated beverages...more specifically, caffeine, from my diet. Before everyone goes crazy, rushing to remind me that it is impossible to be entirely sugar free let me clarify: I have removed "junk" sugars from my diet but maintaining natural sugars like fruit as well those incidental sugars in bread, etc.
Why on earth am I doing this? Well, good question. I figured since the 5k is over (which I totally ran in 42 min) I needed another goal which would increase my overall health and happiness...and give me more bragging rights. I’m looking to purge the system, shock the body into a more efficient processing machine and stimulate more weight loss.
Even with all these excellent reasons, what it really all comes down to is that 2009 is a year of conquering for me. I conquered Ireland, a 5k, some heavy reading and now it is time to tackle sugar and caffeine. Once I finally decided on them, my first few goals ended up being fairly reasonable to accomplish and sustained a high yield of gratification making them extra rewarding. I’m hoping June will continue on this path of amazinginess.
Today is sugar free day 4 and it is has not been easy. There have been incidents of severe headaches, a bit of drool, a tear or two and some mild hallucinations. It’s true, I knew it was going to be rough when I mistook a piece of orange paper for a Reese’s cup and wanted to devour it. No fear, I did not. Instead, I have replaced my normal sugar/caffeine intake with an excessive amount of peanuts. July food ban: peanuts.
Anyway...it is a pretty awesome feeling being able to knock out even a few things in life you either want to get rid of, overcome, or finally accomplish. The initial decision and accompanying challenge is extremely empowering, invigorating, inspiring and yet it can still be slightly scary. Change is good but change is change so expect some growing pains such as ridiculously sore calf muscles or caffeine withdrawal headaches and become BFF with Ibuprofen. But in the end, running through that finish line, it is totally worth it.
I’m not sure what will be next on the list after teaching sugar a lesson but one thing is for sure, nothing will stop me from making 2009 a year for the history books. Hey December, watch out – I’m already punching June in the face!
Why on earth am I doing this? Well, good question. I figured since the 5k is over (which I totally ran in 42 min) I needed another goal which would increase my overall health and happiness...and give me more bragging rights. I’m looking to purge the system, shock the body into a more efficient processing machine and stimulate more weight loss.
Even with all these excellent reasons, what it really all comes down to is that 2009 is a year of conquering for me. I conquered Ireland, a 5k, some heavy reading and now it is time to tackle sugar and caffeine. Once I finally decided on them, my first few goals ended up being fairly reasonable to accomplish and sustained a high yield of gratification making them extra rewarding. I’m hoping June will continue on this path of amazinginess.
Today is sugar free day 4 and it is has not been easy. There have been incidents of severe headaches, a bit of drool, a tear or two and some mild hallucinations. It’s true, I knew it was going to be rough when I mistook a piece of orange paper for a Reese’s cup and wanted to devour it. No fear, I did not. Instead, I have replaced my normal sugar/caffeine intake with an excessive amount of peanuts. July food ban: peanuts.
Anyway...it is a pretty awesome feeling being able to knock out even a few things in life you either want to get rid of, overcome, or finally accomplish. The initial decision and accompanying challenge is extremely empowering, invigorating, inspiring and yet it can still be slightly scary. Change is good but change is change so expect some growing pains such as ridiculously sore calf muscles or caffeine withdrawal headaches and become BFF with Ibuprofen. But in the end, running through that finish line, it is totally worth it.
I’m not sure what will be next on the list after teaching sugar a lesson but one thing is for sure, nothing will stop me from making 2009 a year for the history books. Hey December, watch out – I’m already punching June in the face!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Ok 5k
Once upon a time I was quite the athlete. I was a ribbon-carrying member of the district track team for the 100M relay and shot put. I also held the school record for unchallenged serves on the volleyball team. Sure, I was 14, but still, all facts. Now, doubled in age (but certainly not height), I find myself searching for that long lost athlete somewhere deep in my genes. For years I’ve wanted to run a 5k, but soon after, the reality of actual running sets in and I let it go. This year is different because, this year, I’m actually going to do it.
There have been numerous voices cheering me on during this physical challenge, among them might be a desire for a rocking body, but in all seriousness it is more about how this accomplishment will stand as a visible defeat of a very old inner battle. A few weeks ago this 5k seemed like one of the hardest physical things I could ever do and honestly, not really even possible. Just thinking about running for more than 5 min straight made me laugh, but then again I never really tried it.
However, along with the recent realization of my ever constant daily dog-paddling came the determination to do those things which for so long I cast aside as just too hard. With this renewed passion and determination I pushed myself to work harder every single day and just two nights ago I ran two entire miles without stopping. It is a true spring miracle.
Now, being just a little over a mile and 30 days away from my goal, one thing is perfectly clear, I’m blowing past more hurdles than I ever imagined and nothing can stop me. Not only am I indestructible, but something else rather interesting happened while tackling this personal challenge. Several of my closest friends joined me without request or hesitation. I can not tell you how amazing it feels to put on your running shoes, head out the door to stare that track in the eyes only to be met with 6 smiling faces to run right there with you, side by side. What a precious gift! (I might have gotten a little teary-eyed…maybe)
So, here I am, running toward that finish line with fire in my feet, eyes and heart. By this time next month I will be standing on my own personal podium to claim that trophy…after I punch that 5k right in the face. He will never see me coming. Run Red, run.
There have been numerous voices cheering me on during this physical challenge, among them might be a desire for a rocking body, but in all seriousness it is more about how this accomplishment will stand as a visible defeat of a very old inner battle. A few weeks ago this 5k seemed like one of the hardest physical things I could ever do and honestly, not really even possible. Just thinking about running for more than 5 min straight made me laugh, but then again I never really tried it.
However, along with the recent realization of my ever constant daily dog-paddling came the determination to do those things which for so long I cast aside as just too hard. With this renewed passion and determination I pushed myself to work harder every single day and just two nights ago I ran two entire miles without stopping. It is a true spring miracle.
Now, being just a little over a mile and 30 days away from my goal, one thing is perfectly clear, I’m blowing past more hurdles than I ever imagined and nothing can stop me. Not only am I indestructible, but something else rather interesting happened while tackling this personal challenge. Several of my closest friends joined me without request or hesitation. I can not tell you how amazing it feels to put on your running shoes, head out the door to stare that track in the eyes only to be met with 6 smiling faces to run right there with you, side by side. What a precious gift! (I might have gotten a little teary-eyed…maybe)
So, here I am, running toward that finish line with fire in my feet, eyes and heart. By this time next month I will be standing on my own personal podium to claim that trophy…after I punch that 5k right in the face. He will never see me coming. Run Red, run.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Emerald Isle
About two weeks ago I was standing on a street corner in Killarney, Ireland watching a real Irish St Patrick’s Day Parade. Wow, what an experience! Not only did the town crazy (who they let out of the loony bin until 6pm) dance a jig up and down the parade route, but I saw green dogs, lots of men in plaid skirts, bagpipes and a little boy so dedicated to his penny whistle playing that he stepped in a ginormous pile of horse poo without even flinching. Go Irish!
Since there is just far too much Irish goodness to write about all at once, I will just highlight a few favorites for quick and easy consumption. (They are arranged chronologically since it was too hard to rank any other way.)
1. Cliffs of Moher: the most beautifully unbelievable cliffs of pure insanity I have ever seen in real life. It is truly amazing to me that 3 giddy girls could actually get in a backwards European car in a foreign country with basically nothing but aspirations of great times and find some of the most beautiful sites in the world, the Cliffs of Moher were just the first of many.
2. Random castles and stone creations strewn about the countryside. We had no idea what they were or how old but they were everywhere and that alone was pretty awesome.
3. Dunnes: Ireland’s version of Super Target, sure to fulfill all your American needs for only triple the dollar.
4. J90 at The Grand: the best, cute Irish boy American-pop cover band in the world singing just for us in an Irish pub.
5. Gerry aka Our Hero: General manager of our hotel in Killarney who rescued us from the parking nightmare in the back ally, quenched our thirst with free cocoa and gave us sweet insider tips on the most happening night spots. Our love was mutual.
6. Killarney: our hearts will forever belong to this sweet Irish town that gave us shelter, took our money and showed us how to have a kicking time Irish style (well, minus the alcohol)
7. Ring of Kerry: the most breathtaking 2.5-hour drive along the coast of one of Irelands smaller peninsulas. The roads were terrifying but the scenery was totally worth it and just when you think you’ve seen it all, there is so much more!
8. Blarney Stone: we made it to the Blarney Castle 5 min before closing, just in time to run up the itty-bitty spiral stair case to the tippidy top of the castle and kiss the stone for good luck. As a bonus, if you travel with a blond American girl you will likely get a free dinner offer from the creepy, old Blarney Stone man who holds you tight for ‘safety’ while kissing the stone. Awesome.
9. Leprechauns: this is what we affectionately called all the locals we befriended which was actually quite remarkable considering the language barrier. Turns out, they only technically speak English. One memorable leprechaun: Julie, our St Paddy’s Day Parade narrator who really just wanted a ‘fag’ and didn’t care much for the 'Mormons' but chatted and laughed with us for hours anyway.
10. Irish food: boiled tomatoes and warm milk for breakfast, that is the Irish way. And just when you think it might be safe to order a chicken sandwich remember you’re not in America anymore.
In the end, I spent a ridiculous amount of Euro, walked hundreds of miles, saw at least a million sheep, kissed one very old, slimy stone, climbed a thousand extremely uneven and rather unsafe stairs, took almost 300 pictures, laughed till my sides burst, drank cocoa in a pub, fell out of the shower, danced with the locals, chatted with leprechauns and brought back through customs so many other memories of Ireland to last 2 lifetimes. When I landed back on US soil I was ecstatic, not only to run to the nearest BBQ, but also because I just turned one of my life goals into a reality that I get to enjoy forever. I can hardly wait for the next one to begin!
Since there is just far too much Irish goodness to write about all at once, I will just highlight a few favorites for quick and easy consumption. (They are arranged chronologically since it was too hard to rank any other way.)
1. Cliffs of Moher: the most beautifully unbelievable cliffs of pure insanity I have ever seen in real life. It is truly amazing to me that 3 giddy girls could actually get in a backwards European car in a foreign country with basically nothing but aspirations of great times and find some of the most beautiful sites in the world, the Cliffs of Moher were just the first of many.
2. Random castles and stone creations strewn about the countryside. We had no idea what they were or how old but they were everywhere and that alone was pretty awesome.
3. Dunnes: Ireland’s version of Super Target, sure to fulfill all your American needs for only triple the dollar.
4. J90 at The Grand: the best, cute Irish boy American-pop cover band in the world singing just for us in an Irish pub.
5. Gerry aka Our Hero: General manager of our hotel in Killarney who rescued us from the parking nightmare in the back ally, quenched our thirst with free cocoa and gave us sweet insider tips on the most happening night spots. Our love was mutual.
6. Killarney: our hearts will forever belong to this sweet Irish town that gave us shelter, took our money and showed us how to have a kicking time Irish style (well, minus the alcohol)
7. Ring of Kerry: the most breathtaking 2.5-hour drive along the coast of one of Irelands smaller peninsulas. The roads were terrifying but the scenery was totally worth it and just when you think you’ve seen it all, there is so much more!
8. Blarney Stone: we made it to the Blarney Castle 5 min before closing, just in time to run up the itty-bitty spiral stair case to the tippidy top of the castle and kiss the stone for good luck. As a bonus, if you travel with a blond American girl you will likely get a free dinner offer from the creepy, old Blarney Stone man who holds you tight for ‘safety’ while kissing the stone. Awesome.
9. Leprechauns: this is what we affectionately called all the locals we befriended which was actually quite remarkable considering the language barrier. Turns out, they only technically speak English. One memorable leprechaun: Julie, our St Paddy’s Day Parade narrator who really just wanted a ‘fag’ and didn’t care much for the 'Mormons' but chatted and laughed with us for hours anyway.
10. Irish food: boiled tomatoes and warm milk for breakfast, that is the Irish way. And just when you think it might be safe to order a chicken sandwich remember you’re not in America anymore.
In the end, I spent a ridiculous amount of Euro, walked hundreds of miles, saw at least a million sheep, kissed one very old, slimy stone, climbed a thousand extremely uneven and rather unsafe stairs, took almost 300 pictures, laughed till my sides burst, drank cocoa in a pub, fell out of the shower, danced with the locals, chatted with leprechauns and brought back through customs so many other memories of Ireland to last 2 lifetimes. When I landed back on US soil I was ecstatic, not only to run to the nearest BBQ, but also because I just turned one of my life goals into a reality that I get to enjoy forever. I can hardly wait for the next one to begin!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Drafting
I received a friendly email notification at work the other day that my mailbox was over the limit and I needed to reduce immediately or else. Oh no, I might not get some work related email, just tragic. Nevertheless, I had no choice, I must clean out my mailbox.
After deleting all my unread email I didn't care to look at, I went to my 'Drafts' folder where I found several dozen half-completed blog entries. I must start up a blog entry at least once a week. They are usually spurred by something ridiculous that just happened near or around me at work. (I work at a state agency so I'm sure you can vaguely imagine at least some of the ridiculousness I face daily.) I've written random short stories, interesting observations, long rants, fond memories or just a tidbit of new wisdom that hit me that very moment. One thing is the same, they remain there in drafts, unfinished, unpublished.
I re-read them all. I laughed, got a little angry, chuckled mischievously, and I even got a little choked up (some are rather touching, yeah, I'm that good). I thought to myself why didn't I finish and post any of these for someone to enjoy even if that someone was me? I don't have a good answer. They are just drafts, brief bursts of expressed emotion with no real conclusion.
It occurred to me, while reading my awesome drafts, that my life is too much like this folder. I have moments of grand intentions or tempting dreams, bursts of passion and excitement and moments of clarity and insight. I'm going to travel the world, start a business, begin another graduate program, solve the world problems, get married, buy a new car, write a novel, or be a millionaire and yet they sit, never completed, just drafts. Why? They do no one any good there, just clutter. I certainly don't want to get one of those "taking up too much space on earth, must delete" messages any time soon.
As it goes, with this discovery, it is now time to clean out my drafts and make room...for other things, bigger things, better things. This weekend I will finish my first draft - I'm going to Ireland. Not just to return to my adopted roots (turns out, I can only claim to have the national hair color) or see a new part of the world, but to live out one of my dreams and finish something I started a long time ago.
Don't worry, this will not be the only finished draft from me, I have plenty more. Stay tuned...
After deleting all my unread email I didn't care to look at, I went to my 'Drafts' folder where I found several dozen half-completed blog entries. I must start up a blog entry at least once a week. They are usually spurred by something ridiculous that just happened near or around me at work. (I work at a state agency so I'm sure you can vaguely imagine at least some of the ridiculousness I face daily.) I've written random short stories, interesting observations, long rants, fond memories or just a tidbit of new wisdom that hit me that very moment. One thing is the same, they remain there in drafts, unfinished, unpublished.
I re-read them all. I laughed, got a little angry, chuckled mischievously, and I even got a little choked up (some are rather touching, yeah, I'm that good). I thought to myself why didn't I finish and post any of these for someone to enjoy even if that someone was me? I don't have a good answer. They are just drafts, brief bursts of expressed emotion with no real conclusion.
It occurred to me, while reading my awesome drafts, that my life is too much like this folder. I have moments of grand intentions or tempting dreams, bursts of passion and excitement and moments of clarity and insight. I'm going to travel the world, start a business, begin another graduate program, solve the world problems, get married, buy a new car, write a novel, or be a millionaire and yet they sit, never completed, just drafts. Why? They do no one any good there, just clutter. I certainly don't want to get one of those "taking up too much space on earth, must delete" messages any time soon.
As it goes, with this discovery, it is now time to clean out my drafts and make room...for other things, bigger things, better things. This weekend I will finish my first draft - I'm going to Ireland. Not just to return to my adopted roots (turns out, I can only claim to have the national hair color) or see a new part of the world, but to live out one of my dreams and finish something I started a long time ago.
Don't worry, this will not be the only finished draft from me, I have plenty more. Stay tuned...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
More Than Words
So I meant to post this like a week ago, but clearly I did not…oops.
Last night (now last week) I sang my poor little heart out at the annual "Love Bites Sing-along" at the Alamo Drafthouse. It was pure therapeutic magic. There really is nothing like belting out surprisingly sentimental lyrics to the electric guitar stylings of Izzy and Jovi with your friends.
I’ve always enjoyed a good ballad and my favorite among them are those awesome power ballads from the 80s. Such an interesting time in music that made an everlasting impact on our souls. The power ballad, in my mind, stands as probably the best artistic description of love I can personally relate to. It is sweet emotion wrapped up in simple melodies, heartfelt lyrics and short bursts of heart pumping electric power solos. That is true love, baby.
For two hours I sang at the top of my lungs alongside the heart wrenching vocal pleas of Cyndi Lauper and Steve Perry. With every song, I released enormous amounts of that icky daily stress and a little bit of those irritating love pains. I can give no better suggestion to someone broken, stressed, torn, sad or just plain tired than to crank up the volume and embrace their inner power ballad. It is a total eclipse of the heart and it certainly works for me, time after time.
Tonight is round two. Tonight we take out the power and embrace just the pure soft ballad. It’s called the "No Shame" sing-along for a reason. And yes, I will sing those ballads shamelessly and you know why - because I love them and I will not be ashamed of what I love. Plus, I’ll take any chance to scream in public without fear of being ssssshhhh’d any day. Yes, we do it all for the glory of love.
Last night (now last week) I sang my poor little heart out at the annual "Love Bites Sing-along" at the Alamo Drafthouse. It was pure therapeutic magic. There really is nothing like belting out surprisingly sentimental lyrics to the electric guitar stylings of Izzy and Jovi with your friends.
I’ve always enjoyed a good ballad and my favorite among them are those awesome power ballads from the 80s. Such an interesting time in music that made an everlasting impact on our souls. The power ballad, in my mind, stands as probably the best artistic description of love I can personally relate to. It is sweet emotion wrapped up in simple melodies, heartfelt lyrics and short bursts of heart pumping electric power solos. That is true love, baby.
For two hours I sang at the top of my lungs alongside the heart wrenching vocal pleas of Cyndi Lauper and Steve Perry. With every song, I released enormous amounts of that icky daily stress and a little bit of those irritating love pains. I can give no better suggestion to someone broken, stressed, torn, sad or just plain tired than to crank up the volume and embrace their inner power ballad. It is a total eclipse of the heart and it certainly works for me, time after time.
Tonight is round two. Tonight we take out the power and embrace just the pure soft ballad. It’s called the "No Shame" sing-along for a reason. And yes, I will sing those ballads shamelessly and you know why - because I love them and I will not be ashamed of what I love. Plus, I’ll take any chance to scream in public without fear of being ssssshhhh’d any day. Yes, we do it all for the glory of love.
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