Contagious

About a year ago a friend sent me a link to an interesting and hilarious website dedicated solely to the disbursement of helpful information regarding the ‘gingerkids’ aka redheads. I recently ran across this website again and one of my favorite FAQ’s is “Are we contagious?” Being an inquisitive person, I decided to address the issue on a more serious note. Contagious – yes we are. But is it possible our potency is wearing thin?

There have been millions of redhead studies throughout time but today I focus on a groundbreaking study conducted by the Oxford Hair Foundation. Based on their scientific findings, redheads will drastically decrease by 2060 and could be extinct by 2100. {gasps} The problem is we are one big recessive genebomb – no one really knows when a gingerkid will pop up and there is a chance that even those of use already red won’t produce any more. Turns out only 4% of the world’s population carries the red-hair gene. Now I’m not really good will all the genetics but I know those ain't the kinda odds you bet on. We are quickly loosing the battle to those dang dominant brown-hair genes!

So there are plenty of other articles refuting this horrific declaration but I find myself feeling a strong sense of obligation – as if it’s my life duty to protect our race. I must provide heirs to ensure redheads will always be available for the world’s viewing pleasure and overall general happiness. In order to secure a redheaded family, there is only one guarantee: two redheads must mate. So this is now my mission and I’m off on the hunt...to save America.