Sizzle

For the first time in 2008 it happened, I got sunburned. As a typical ultra-light-complected redhead, bright red skin is nothing new for me. During the summer months my skin maintains an almost constant shade of pink which in some respects is a pleasant break from reflective white; however, I wasn’t ready for the pink cycle to begin so early in the year. Usually I can luck it until April before I pull out my enormous supply of SPF but along came a bright, sunny day and I was too eager…ran right out into the world without protection. Luckily it wasn’t too bad this time but it was as if the sun was giving me a little reminder to begin the daily regimen of dousing my skin in SPF 100 before even considering stepping outside. Thanks buddy.

I’ve been reeducated on the incompatibility of redheads and sun many times, it’s a tough lesson. Just last year I spent a good part of the summer drenched in Aloe Vera for I made the biggest redhead mistake, I went to the beach. It’d been quite some time since the sun cooked me so bad my skin actually bubbled and I had forgotten just how painful it is – yeah no, it’s not normal. Oh and not to mention how disgusting you look and feel. I spent two days sprawled out in bed unable to move and had to shower with a shirt on so the water wouldn’t tear off my blistered flesh for the next week – ah such good times (and you’re welcome for the imagery). The truly saddest part of it all is I was in fact wearing sunscreen on the beach, I mean I wasn’t suicidal. The problem is when you combine water, sand, blazing sun and a redhead what you have is a steak. Fact. Now, it may be rather entertaining to watch the poor redhead as she hyper-colors* in the car ride home but despite how fun it is to touch the bright red skin and time how long the white finger prints will remain on the surface keep this in mind: Yes I’m sunburned and yes it hurts so please stop poking me!!!!

Time it takes to burn a redhead with sunscreen: 30 min
Time it takes to burn a redhead without sunscreen: 1.5 seconds

*although I am unable to trademark the term ‘hyper-color’ I can clarify the usage. The term hyper-color references the change occurring between the actual sun burning and the physical demonstration of that burn. It’s rather amazing. The skin will change colors right before your very eyes from pasty white to light pink, pink, hot pink, red and occasionally all the way to purple – and yes, yes I’ve been purple.